Tuesday, September 10, 2013
The Real Princess is Marissa
For the first time in close to ten years, I have one soccer night versus every single cotton-picking night of the week. The game schedule finally worked out in my favor, but not really, as Tabby and Nando both have games at the exact same time for the entire season. Where do I go? Tabby's more emotionally needy, yet Nando plays so hard, and is therefore more likely to get injured.
Solution: stand between the two adjacent fields and spin like a top - no soccer chair necessary. Then on to Allen and Scotty's game but, as the adult sponsor of the older team, I have to sit on the bench with the team, I don't get to hang with Sherry or Debbie, or any of the other mamas.
My other older kids will also help me keep an eye out, and a big mouth going, at both games simultaneously.
In any case, Tuesday it is, for the next couple of months.
It's still in the 90s here, I weeded out back last night after supper, first semi-cool moment I could spare all day. Grandma made the long trek from her room, down two flights of stairs, over to my kitchen for supper. She needs to be up and moving around, which she's certainly doing, but it's taxing when your body is trying to heal. She's healing super rapidly though, and we're both grateful for that.
Shadow, Jack's wild terrier mix, stealth kissed Grandma's face at supper, so glad to see her, as were my kids. Her injury scared the tar out of everyone.
Whose house is this? So quiet and stable, peaceful and sweet, after years of stress, destruction, and violently acting-out kids, I'm still rattled overall, but very grateful for the peace that has descended upon us.
That doesn't mean we're likely to let down our guard anytime soon, it's best if kids sleep behind locked doors, I still keep an eagle eye out, I continue to disengage when anyone wants to nut up. I don't wanna add fuel to any fire.
Lily told me of one of mine who was spectacularly irritable on the school bus yesterday, snapping at everyone, nearly making Nando cry, and this is Nando's older birth brother who should've been more protective. Instead Lily took Nando close to her side, "Ignore him," she advised, "he needs to start his period." Appropriateness and logic not our strong suit.
"Huh?" A confused Nando responded.
"Nothing," Lily wisely answered. "He's just being idiotic."
Pobrecito. Nando'd had to go see the school nurse after accidentally getting semi-stabbed with a pencil in the eye area by a friend of his. Super tough day for my sweet little honey who's exactly one month shy of his 12th birthday. "Get a new friend," I'd snapped later, when he told me about it. Nando tripping all over his own self to explain exactly what had transpired.
And Grandma? Miraculous healing, tossing back protein and chia seed banana smoothies that I blend for her each day, pinto beans last night, fixing to dive into The China Study today. What is it that is allowing an 83 year old to heal so quickly? A combination of elements I'd suppose.
Never a smoker, never a drinker, not even sodas, almost always choosing fruits and vegetables over anything else, never overweight, always active, guzzling water and a variety of teas, black, green and herbal for her entire life, always growing a garden, a card shark who keeps her brain challenged, this broken nose and fractured sinus cavity adventure will not keep her down at all. Thank God.
And a by the way, I do not search my kids' phones for rule infractions, if they were writing notes at school then I wouldn't search their book bags, I know who their friends are, they're all right open with me, but that doesn't mean they won't also be sneaky - but privacy and boundaries need to be respected.
One kid's significant other recently searched my kid's phone for any evidence of flirting with others. My kid was outraged, and rightly so. Number one issue is in trust, number two is in boundaries and privacy, and number three is if they wanna flirt, then by golly, they should do so. They're not tied down as teenagers to anyone. Jeepers, this is how one grows personally and learns the ropes of life.
"Am I wrong to be angry?' they'd asked me last night, sitting on the side of my bed sharing a bowl of popcorn.
"Heck NO!" I'd bellowed, with an explosive exclamation mark. "You're a dadgum kid. A human being with a reasonable expectation of privacy." Overbearing, needy or insecure partners are a danger sign to me. A needy person needs a therapist, not a date. Sure, I'm opinionated, isn't that why you're reading?
Three of my Biggers, Deysi, Saray and Marcela all went vegetarian a year or so back, having watched me, and Sarah, do it for the 25 years they've been in America, finding it easily the best way to keep excess weight off of their very small frames, texting each other each day in order to remain accountable.
I'm watching GMA as I type, some lady's book, The Shift, a TV personality woman losing 72 pounds telling her strategies, one of which jumped out at me. She dumped diet sodas cold turkey in favor of lemon flavored water, using real lemons of course. She lost slowly but surely, and that's the way to go She's now all about empowering other women, and I so admire that.
We women need to be healthy, not focused on weight or fashion. We have a lot on us each day, even those who have supportive husbands, seriously, ladies, you know it still ultimately falls on you to tend to so much.
Healthy is where it's at, not a number on a scale, not the right shade of lipstick.
Last week I believe I suggested everyone dump the chemical soups nowadays labeled 'Butter' in favor of Earth Balance, even available in mainline grocery stores. This week? Dump the diet sodas. They're killing you, sapping your energy and ironically making us fat.
Puh-leeze ladies, your families need you, especially those of us trauma mamas with extraordinarily demanding and challenging families. If you don't feel good, if you're sluggish and tired, it's because you're not feeding yourself well, you need high-octane, real foods in order to function at your best.
Two of my readers passed away this year way too young, both in the midwest, a Barbara and a Nancy of Nebraska and Illinois respectively. I know this because we became friends, both had health challenges, and I grieve the loss. I don't wanna lose anymore online friends, or friends close by. At my age, pushing 60, I know this is gonna happen, but I deeply feel it's happening much too soon.
Now I'm gonna get off my own butt and get hopping, actvity is where it's at too.