"Have you met me?" I holler-texted in response to the, "Do you wanna ski with us?' question sent to me by my favorite brother-in-law, in reference to an upcoming visit here, and then on to his new mountain home site.
I doubt if I can get away at all, a bunch of stuff going on around here, all good, but demanding of my time.
And me ski? Laughable, what with my mama-trips-a-lot reputation.
"When I'm big," Nando stated solemnly, "I'm gonna bring YOU down here with me." He was referring to our very wonderful Florida trip, the one in which we all got along (almost) and all had a blast. His words, spoken from his very sweet nature, meant the world to me.
In the absence of your judgement, everything would be fine.
A line from the book Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, the author stresses that the very act of focusing on the imperfection pulls us away from our goals, be it contentment or happiness. Why dilute one's joy in that manner?
The Lifehack folks must've had me in mind this morning as I failed to do much of that which they'd suggested, writing 8 things you must give up to find peace. Ouch, I'm busted on several line items there.
I do wander around my house and feel dismayed at the damage that's been done, I dream of how it'll look when everyone's grown and not accidentally deconstructing all that I do, but seriously, Cindy, get a grip and enjoy it all now.
If I wouldn't obsess about broken stuff, if I'd just use that energy to fix stuff, it'd be better. Let's re-focus, reframe how we see things, girl. Talking aloud to myself as I'm prone to do, my own solitary cheerleader of sorts.
If I wouldn't focus on my own regrets, what might've been if I'd gone another route, then I'd be happier where I'm already a million percent positive that God placed me, exactly right here where I'm perched, one foot firmly on Planet Earth, the other one on an invisible banana peel..
A sweet, sweet text from Daniel last night, a big old shout-out from a usually impossible totally oppositionally defiant one who told me I was the best mama ever nearly caused me to fall down in utter astonishment, and then Tabby wrote me an excellent card, bringing it to me quietly, rather surprised at my exuberance regarding it.
My ODD one will soon and quickly forget this declaration of love and devotion, and will predictably sometime later refer to me as mean, stingy, and uncaring - this is oh so predictable.
I need to not let winter get me down. The temperatures yesterday hardly reached 50, which is frigid for me, but I know that within another month I can plant all of my cole crops, I have plenty to do in the meantime, all of my winter repainting projects are calling my name.
Now I need to get Scotty and JoJo to wrestling practice and Sabrina to her job. She's very close to having saved up enough money to buy a car, here right before her 18th birthday which came really fast.
"It seems like I just got here," she's wailed, hating that she didn't get to spend her entire 18 years here in one house, in one school system, at one church. By the time she got here 8 years ago she couldn't even remember all the schools she'd attended, much less all her different living quarters. Tabby is the youngest in her birth sibling group, she's deeply dreading the day that Sabrina goes away to college, of course.
We've tried explaining to her that Sabrina will still officially live here, will leave some of her stuff, and will come home several weekends, but a severely traumatized survivor can't quite focus on what this all means and all the ramifications. This is where Dr. Mandy always helps, another adult echoing what Mom is saying, reassuring Tabby...and for a jittery Sabrina, who Tabby'd once referred to as Memaw for years, these transitions into adulthood rarely go very smoothly.
Note to self: save old spice jars to use for dried cayenne peppers, one just never has enough. Jacks uses this like I use my Fire Hot Pepper Sauce, it goes on everything one might normally salt. Bodie Food Rule #72. It takes several cayenne pepper plants to produce enough peppers to dry and later jar up. We are now down to the last two and it isn't even January. Uh-oh.