Snakes and Soccer

I think I've been kinda ill-tempered this week due to a grown kid having to face the consequences of some of her choices.  I can not help, nor will I do so, as that'd be enabling.  I'm choosing to use Marcela's picture today, instead of the one who is stressing me out emotionally.  Marcela, her husband Curtis, who I've known since he was in middle school, and their sweet, smart and sassy daughter, Marissa were in Charleston, SC last week.  Curtis is a great guy - husband, father, hard worker, home owner, as is Marcela.  That's all I ask for.

Nando handily won his game 4-1 last night, getting the first goal in on a penalty kick, then later Allen absolutely wowed the park by heroically kicking five goals, coming off the field at the end, sweat-soaked for a bear hug with me. I'd not sat down for a single minute in that game.

But I had socialized.

Another soccer mom, Sherry, one of my heroes because she homeschools her five birth kids, is always smiling and laughing, and loves watching her kids play soccer, as do I.  We both stood there together talking and cheering.

I'd unloaded to Grandma at supper, my deep discontent that day, the fact that one person, one who's nearly 60, does 99% of the outdoor work, 100% of the housework plus grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, and everything else - how is that even physically possible - I'd whined, fighting tears of frustration.

To my absolute astonishment, an event that hasn't happened here in his 12 + years of living with me at home, Allen washed at least ten plates in the sink from supper, then scored five goals.

That's all it took to brighten my outlook.

I'd lollygagged all afternoon while they were in school, I'd sat down and watched HGTV instead of working.  I almost never allow that kind of relaxation for myself.

All it did though was fuel my irritation as I watched granite countertop kitchens in to die for houses that'll never cook for as many people as I do every single day.

Sherry'd later remarked, "All stoves should come with four large burners," a point I totally agreed with, but hadn't formulated.

I'd not kept my phone with me, tired of all the discouragement from some of my grown kids, didn't check it again until bedtime, reading a comment from a new reader who has struggled for quite some time, glad now to have found a blog that tells it like it is. The Adoption Counselor states, "I’m so aware of how out on a limb I am about adoption issues."

I don't think she's out on a limb, I think, no I know, she's speaking from that place where she found herself after experiencing trauma for so many long years as an adoptive parent of troubled kids.  My own brilliant caseworker had her share of issues as well simply because she adopted six kids which includes an adorable grandson.

Baptism by fire when you've been there, done that.

I hope my new reader will read The Adoption Counselor's most helpful book regarding Healing From Hazardous Parenting for further healing.  It's almost like getting a reassuring hug, a pat on the back from one who truly, deeply, personally understands the scary trauma we've experienced because she's been there too.

You can't fear being stabbed in your sleep and remain emotionally intact - and that's only a tiny part of my cumulative trauma.

This is why I blog, the verbal processing of events, helps me cope.

I have to go to town today, JoJo has an orthodontic appointment at 8 a.m., forcing me off my property where I greatly prefer to be at all times.  Sherry'd told me about Aldi's Grocery Store, newly opened in Athens, with great produce prices and $1.99 milk gallons, so I think I'll stop by to reload.

In my vegan quest, eliminating pepper jack cheese hasn't been as difficult as I'd feared.  Sarah suggested guacamole as a cheese replacement - a good fat thing - and it's been superior.  She also blogged recently about her green smoothies.

Sherry has no idea how much her smiles and laughs meant to me last night, her companionship and her sweet spirit in very stark contrast to my inner bitterness.  I felt bilious to her sweetness.  I gotta work on that.  She's seen tough times too, her husband was out of work for 20 long scary months, yet you'd never have known it as she faltered not at all during that time.  I so admire that ability.

Now happily employed and able to have a vacation this mid-week, another homeschooling advantage, her two most excellent sons won't be playing in Thursday's game, which means my three sons best step up and fill that gap.

Scotty and JoJo are also on that team and interestingly enough JoJo's behaviors and school attitude has improved enough that he's channeling his aggression into conditioning for the wrestling team.  He even hugged me before bed and apologized for his ODD.  I 'bout fell over in shock.

Scotty had again patiently untangled a snake that had got hung up in chicken wire while trying to get in the chicken coop, so much braver than I.  Tabby had taken the picture, curious and interested, while I remained oozy about it.

What are we?  Snake magnets?