When Sarah was in elementary school, my oldest daughter who'll soon be 39 years old, I literally had time back then, even as a working single mom who dated, well I had an abundance of free time, likely due to not watching a TV each night, to rig up a hardware screen compost sifter.
Yesterday I sifted with my hands and a hand rake, an entire wheelbarrow load, as I reminisced and talked to Yolie who'd brought her kids over after school to unwind on the tire swing.
She'd recently been invited to speak to prospective social workers at UGA, the place where'd she earned her Master's Degree in Social Work. Her perspective as a former foster child, and then an adopted child within a large family, plus now employed by her former caseworker as an adoption worker is priceless.
They'd asked her questions, she'd answered honestly, yet it had wiped her out. She doesn't sit around and obsess about the past, she's been my daughter for 21 years, she's Chuck's wife, and she's Mae and CJ's mom.
But if a person with her intellect, education and reasoning skills can still be reduced on the inside to that once emotionally devastated child - then how much more so for the millions of former foster children who enter adulthood still raging about their undeserved past?
Maybe if all the folks who have ignorantly and hurtfully criticized you or I would all step up to the plate and adopt just one child, the numbers would be reduced, right?
I know I'm done, I know I won't adopt again. I know my limits. I know I want to face my own future as an Abuelita, being the loud Grandma cheering them on at their games.
It took me a couple of hours, and I only did one out of four greenhouse beds, deep watering, turning the soil with my beloved spading fork, and adding about a hundred pounds of compost before planting Swiss Chard seeds - all the while wondering if I'll love 'em so much without dumping a brick load of cheese on each serving?
Jen pointed out I'd said in 2005 that I could never be a vegan. I'm sure I've made that claim monthly, yet here I am, loving it.
Sho' nuff, Lily tested positive for strep. She'd insisted on going to school yesterday, yet within an hour she'd wanted me to come get her, our wonderful pediatrician fit her in, she's on antibiotics and has been cleared to return to school today since she's now had three doses of that mongo horse pill.
She's super artistic and wears eye makeup applied with a heavy hand, looking all emo, yet I don't fight this battle with her as she's super sweet and gets very good grades. If this is how she wants to express herself, I'm good with it.
Our family very, very rarely ever gets sick. I can't explain it, other than the exposure to, and of, this many people has raised our immune system defense? I, in particular, am almost never ever sick, rarely even a cold, which is a good thing as I gotta keep going 90 mph or the chores will never get completed.
Two soccer games tonight instead of on Thursday, I've repeated this aloud all morning to my teenage sons who have such a Mom filter in their ears that they seemingly only hear one out of every five words I speak.
Yolie took Sabrina Homecoming dress shopping for me. Years ago when I had so many kids at home and neither Sarah nor Yolie had yet had their own kids, they did a bunch of the shopping for me, taking my debit card and saving me the hassle. It's easier to shop than to tend to this brood.
Personally I'd rather referee than ever go inside a store.
Nando's birthday is coming up early next month and he's obsessed with a particular game system and its accompanying games on Ebay. Half the fun is in the hunt, he ran down my phone battery yesterday shopping online, or rather plotting, planning, and strategizing his choices. He'll obsess over the next couple of weeks, choosing and re-choosing until he's perfected his final answer.
Now that our home is so calm, peaceful even with a dozen kids, mostly teenagers, who deep inside appreciate our new found tranquility, I'm looking around, feeling overwhelmed at the number of much needed and long deferred repairs, literally I need to replace siding boards outside, porch steps, scrape the ugly popcorn ceiling in the living room and sand it down before it totally chunks off, plus a thousand painting projects, I still am saving up to replace the last four bedroom floors...I'm prioritizing in my mind, knowing I'm sure never gonna get bored what with all I need to accomplish.
I'd gotten two John Deere flat sheets in perfect condition at a yard sale, I'm gonna cut 'em down, sew a hem and make a set of curtains as requested by Jack, but not until the weathers sucks outside. I still have a lot to do in the meantime.