Friday, March 18, 2011
Ill Pill Parade
This picture was on the Georgia Aquarium website, the most positive aspect of the following post, CJ and Mae with their beautiful cousin, Eden.
And why do I call this a blog post when I clearly type out chapters of the book I'll never publish as I find the memories vaguely unpleasant.
Blogging is cathartic, re-reading and editing would only re-traumatize myself.
I might have to whine for a minute about how deeply painful cracked ribs can be, jeepers, I absolutely felt as if I were being stabbed all night long, totally unable to get comfortable. I believe I might have to follow up on the doctor's orders to Radiology, make sure it's all OK 'cause it really shouldn't be this painful, right?
Poor Nando's gonna have to have another outpatient surgery, we'd followed up on that yesterday, they're now calling it a cyst on his neck, and will do a deeper removal in a week or so.
Nando distracted himself with his GameBoy during yesterday's examination while I delved further into my own happy nerd kingdom, totally enjoying The Accidental Farmer, even though it's weighted heavily toward meat-eating - responsible meat eating - and I found myself underlining this man's beautifully written thoughts.
He compared modern day chicken farming to cramming some 500 chickens into the space of a regular hall closet, making me pat myself on my back for my lengthy chicken moat and large coop. However twisting oneself around like that intensifies cracked rib pain. Good Golly Miss Molly, I'm too restlessly active for this kind of immobility.
We got two new baby chicks yesterday, a far cry from the 25 I'll order this week from McMurray. I was trying to appease Nando, clearly a farmer-to-be, as he adores our chickens and our gardens. "I just like Nature" he told me, hands in his pockets, chewing on some weedy stick.
"Oh Honey, me too," I agreed, the warm sun easing my rib pain. Unable to pass up sacks of leaves, with only the help of a nine year old boy, I filled my truck, intensifying the shooting rib pain, but satisfying a deep longing within me to continue improving my soil, this can only mean more strawberries and blueberries for us all.
No soccer on Thursdays for the first time in the last five or so years, I finally crawled upstairs to my heating pad, ruing the fact that I felt so dadgum disabled, I'd pushed through the pain all day, getting stuff done, but man oh man, did I pay for it later.
The chicks are in a galvanized tin tub on my kitchen counter right where the seedlings had spent January and February, the cycle of life that fulfills me in ways that parenting challenging children has tried to thwart all too often. Life's bumpy, hurtful, difficult, and really hard sometimes, I get a supreme sense of peace and well-being when I'm not disconnected from the food cycle.
These stinging lashes of rejection that folks here feel compelled to dump upon me for their own daily aerobics can really stress a girl out sometimes. Fortunately I quickly process my resulting emotions. Thank you, Miss Bailey, for pointing that out to me many years ago, the knowledge of this ability has long been a plus on my own hidden scorecard.
"I'm calling to ruin your day," a usually supportive Miss Kim announced. The psychiatric facility housing Paloma is discharging her, ridiculously saying her behaviors are not connected to her mental health issues. Funding options dictating society's safety. I spewed my frustration later to Dr. Mandy who was appalled on our behalf.
Fortunately DJJ is valiantly attempting to place her somewhere, my prayer and my goal continues to be pushing hard for family safety here. As Yolie once put it, "Folks just think you have no feelings, Mom," seemingly slinging their darts and arrows at my faltering protective shield.
Really? Those folks who've had to physically restrain her several times in the last couple of weeks think I can protect her potential, and previously assaulted, victims here? This makes my blood boil, and my cracked ribs throb, as if I'd been hit with a baseball bat.
I'm a bit of an ill pill today.