Saturday, December 18, 2010
Not Tolerating Criminal Behavior
This photo of Martin has nothing to do with this post. He's a great kid, nearly 17, here at Daniel's graduation this week.
I think The Adoption Counselor explained exactly the massively deep frustration that I've been caterwauling about all month. I'm just so entirely exasperated and I'm gonna go church lady here on everyone. If we simply all followed The Golden Rule, nothing else, believe in whatever Higher Being floats your boat, most problems would be greatly eased. At the moment I just cannot even bear to counsel anyone through the consequences of their bone-headed choices.
So naturally and conversely, Claudia wrote of the relationship versus the behaviors...and I still find myself unmoved to some degree, so freaking tired of the relentlessness of criminal minds.
I can, and do, forgive, but I also must remove myself and my family from situations for safety reasons and for self-preservation.
I'd spoken to my original adoption caseworker, the one who has either directly or indirectly supervised almost all of my adoptions, the one who knows all of the episodes here, all of the stuff I don't blog, because I totally trust her judgement and advice, she's often the only one, besides Sarah and Yolie, I absolutely will confide in.
"Am I being too harsh?" I'd asked, as we spoke of my inability to even begin to want to participate in the crappy shenanigans I see exploding in the lives of some grown kids.
"No, I don't think so," she'd replied, having been through more than her own fair share of horrible onslaughts, as she's an adoptive parent also. The last 20 plus years of this have taken a toll on both of our emotional and physical health, something I'd have scoffed at years ago. "Not me" I might've crowed, unable to comprehend the torment and shocking victimization that would follow my clearly called-by-God decision to adopt older children with some incredibly severe mental health issues.
Last night was calm, this morning I'd hope to haul manure to finish Grandma's gardens, but it's raining and too cold. I did get two hours to myself yesterday afternoon, pulling weeds out back, grinning at the fat earthworms I'd seen, loving the amazing texture of the soil that I've amended for nearly 20 years here, and turning over some soil, happy and content to be doing what I so dearly love, my hens clucking, and some dogs sprawled in the warm sunshine.
I only have three children not involved in either the middle or high school youth group, so last night's Christmas Party and Bonfire took 11 kids and kept 'em busy and happy. Next year even my sweet Jack'll be in Youth Group.
I'm hardly mentioning Christmas at all, knowing the Holiday Hell season that I've endured too many times over the years. I have low key plans and a deep desire for peace during this season.