Keep Opening Doors

A big 9 a.m. meeting at DJJ regarding Paloma and Jonathan's increasingly deteriorating behavior problems of aggression, violence, disruption, severe agitation, inabilities to get along with anyone, non-compliance, and even delusional thoughts on Paloma's part, their psych evals indicating a bi-polar prognosis, I am finding it impossible to manage their behaviors while keeping potential victims safe here at home.

Probably 20 folks in the room, a community assortment of CPS, DJJ, school personnel and mental health workers, I described what I deal with, as did the school administrator. This has been over a nearly seven year time frame.

Ten years ago I did not know that parents could attend these meetings, now, much more educated, disillusioned, experienced, jaded, hopeful and knowledgeable I dig my heels in and insist on residential psychological help, knowing if these children were still in foster care, they'd simply just continuously be moved from family to family, never receiving what they need so much.

Our lead school social worker has also been a coach for Miriam and Vanessa, he's been to my house, as have scores of other professionals, seen us in action, and as such, we've received a great deal of help and, for that, I'm very grateful.

I once had a wild idea that someday I could look back on 39 college graduates with pride, now I only desire to raise my children into the best possible folks that they can become, whatever that may be.

I questioned God a great deal, 'Why Lord did you give me children who are so disturbed?' and I was not hearing any answer other than to trust and obey, which is a good idea on any level.

Now I'm beginning to comprehend, maybe it was because He knew I'd be hard-headed and determined enough to seek out the help that they need so desperately. I don't know, but for today I feel very relieved to have been heard, and for all the people there to comprehend how seriously ill both of these birth siblings truly are, and now they are, at least, on the list of those children who desperately need mental health resources.

If these are the doors God wants me to walk through, then I'm praying for His leading and paving of the way.

I feel very encouraged this morning that Paloma and Jonathan can now likely receive all the help and resources that they need. It's not fair of me to demand, nor to expect, for them to function as typical children when their emotional disabilities are so glaringly evident to all.