If any of y'all ever have time, go back and read some of the comments on back posts. I chew and digest all that you tell me, and please never be apologetic for just having one or two children. One child can be as challenging as a thousand.
Wendy in Canada sent me to the Beyond Consequnces website and this and I've been reading through there and googling - real good stuff.
My caseworker called to tell me about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and everything she'd learned. She explained it to me and it made sense, so much so that I wished my son was in the same residential program she'd been trained at...but in my world coincidences happen with regularity.
Jose's therapist called for a phone session and told me they'd recently started DBT there. Astonished I told her I'd just that morning learned about it. I researched it online, read a good bit aloud to Fabian and JoJo, it even made sense to them. These are not insightful boys.
A few minutes after that Dr Mandy arrived and was also aware of this approach and explained more to me and how we could use my children's self-esteen issues along with the main thought: "The most important of the overall goals in DBT is helping clients create “lives worth living.” I totally buy this. I wanna holler DUH.
Miss Kim from DJJ had learned from my blog that Fabian had been suspended, she was at our house first thing reading him the riot act. He likes her a lot and was ashamed, shutting down somewhat. His woman conflicts revolve around me - the whole mama thing. Kim's pretty and not-the-mama and he has a crush on her.
All day I had folks here or was on the phone doing business - never got my face washed, but Fabian was delightful and helpful. Merilee sent me exactly what I needed to get me out of the dumps. Watch it all the way through and wait for the backward part to blow you away.
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3 comments:
We had mixed experiences with Beyond Consequences. There is a lot of controversy around the therapy and Dr. Post. In the book he suggests that parents sit on the floor inside a raging child's room (with the child) so as not to create more fear in the child. If I did this my rager would probably pummel me and then feel shame after. Not such a great suggestion.
We've been using DBT here with a couple of kids - and I first used it with a therapist for myself, even, to keep me on even keep in dealing with my kiddos. I think there is a lot to be said for it - definitely worth a try. Good luck!
I have just heard about DBT also in the last couple of weeks while trying to figure out what to do with my daughter. I am going to look at this more seriously now that it is being brought to my attention again through your blog. Thanks! and good luck to you.
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