Friday, March 16, 2007
Beth came over with more t-shirts than we've ever owned in our lives. She must have ironed each one, neatly folded up perfectly...my kids excitedly claiming the ones they wanted, I got some too. Thank you Beth.
I was despondent, for a minute, over my inability to reach Teresa, to change the behaviors of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder. Yes I know if I were capable of doing that, I'd be a whale of a wealthy woman right now, as the world would pay millions for a cure.
I wailed to Yolie, "What was the point of her getting a mom? Should I have saved this wasted 8 years of energy for a child who didn't give a hoot anyway? Used it on kids who'll never get a mom?"
It's not like I think good thoughts all the time. I have despairing moments as well.
Yolie, as usual, got me back on track, reminding me that it was all worth it. ALL kids have a need to belong, and Teresa might someday look back on my efforts, might start to understand that I tried. If nothing else, her two siblings, Martin and Tony, have greatly benefited from being in a family. Even her older brother, Joey, knows that I did all I could.
In his 20s, maybe even he will calm down, obey laws, understand more about life?
Maybe I have to work this hard, to bang my head against stones, just to understand that the next generation will be so much better off for all my efforts. I can look at my grandchildren and smile, knowing that their parents love them, knowing that all is well in their lives...that truly does make it all worth it...as I reach for an aspirin.