Reassurance

Last night at soccer practice, in front of several other moms, I asked Edgar to stop leaning so heavily on me. He was trying to block the wind which was blowing his perfectly gelled hair.

He retorted, "You must not love me anymore."

HUH? I want to watch practice, what does that have to do with love? Why would a 19 year old blurt out those fears in front of other adults?

My reply, "Yes I do, now move."

"If you love me, you'll let me lean," he whined.

Jeepers.

This morning I drove back up from dropping off the kids at the elementary school only to pass Edgar going out the door.

He kissed my cheek and kept on walking, I hollered after him, "Love ya."

In front of his friend, who'd just driven up, he whirled around to me, and yelled back, "No you don't. It's me who loves you."

Brother.

Push pull has turned into suck me down the drain, wear me out emotionally, and require 24-7 reassurance against all odds.