Sarah'd left her kids with me, as she's done for quite some time now on Friday mornings, to teach her yoga class. She hugely influenced my decision to go vegan last August, I'm also convinced that I need yoga too, but any free time finds me in my gardens.
Knowing how bent out of shape I am over recent events, how stressful, no- how pointless I find my 24-7 attempts at trying to make decent human beings out of some who fight me at every turn, convinced that a life of lying and scheming to take from others is an easier path, my frustration knows no bounds.
It seems completly pointless and very meaningless, like I've wasted my life completely.
So she quoted her Yoga Journal article, where the Bhagavad Gita says, "You have a right to the work alone, not to its fruits." When you're doing the work for the sake of the work itself, rather than for a desired result, you're much less likely to suffer from anxiety about the outcomes. You're also less likely to feel crippling disappointments if things don't go the way you hoped or planned. To consciously surrender your attachment to the fruits of your work is to detach yourself from the ego's need to claim success or the negative's fear of failure.
When you remember that your contract with life doesn't specify that you'll always get what you want, you'll find that even in the midst of mourning a loss or trying to repair the damage from a mistake, you won't feel like a victim (or a failure or useless, pointless and menaingless - my words clearly).
Do your work as a service. Something I've always attempted to do, having read many books on servant leadership, starting with the Bible. I've never minded being of service, not at all, and I've had awesome role models all my life in that arena, specifically my own mother.
The sense of service can be applied anywhere and it makes even unpleasant talks meaningful.
I so agree, it's how I've rationalized always standing at the kitchen sink washing thousands of dishes by hand, or on my knees constantly in the laundry room with mountains of dirty clothes turning them right side out, or sweeping, or picking up, or hauling the trash, you get my drift, right?
I don't mind hard work, not at all. I just mind the lack of results, as if my hard work was pointless, but who said I had a right to the outcome that I desired - which is personal success for my kids.
Yolie has often said, "It's on them now," in reference to their ridiculously damaging choices. I can't make them choose correctly. I have to let go of that. I have to give up my demand regarding the outcomes, I have to let them fail if that's their choice. I don't have a choice anyway anymore, why don't I just accept it?
Being of service is not the same ting as martyting yourself for a cause or letting yourself be exploited. When you're working in a situation where the problems are big and your efforts are needed, it's not hard to get sucked into believing that you should give until you drop.
Knowing I've done my very best, that I've given a million percent, and, having offered the action, I can recognize that the oucome is beyond my control. People have free will, they make their own choices, the rewards or the consequences will be theirs, and theirs alone.
See, I only wallow long enough to process my hurt and angry emotions, then I'm gonna get back on the horse that kicked me in the head and continue riding, working, working, working. I'll get the job done, then it's in their hands.
Can I get a big old DUH! from someone?